...SpeakTruthFreely....: i falter

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

i falter

i can only tell you want i want right now. literally right this second. no this second. what i wanted to eat two minutes ago I don't even want anymore. Every time i sit down to eat with other people i don't want whats on my plate anymore. If i can;t stick to the most trivial of decisions, how could i possible be sure. Sure of anything. The only thing i'm sure of is the way i feel right now. That feeling inspires action, decision & diction.

true or false - Acknowledgement of feeling in the moment is indicative of the most pure way to act. It directs your action with truth. Consider it the materialization of truth in you.

for now, i say true (...and i prefer hesitate...)

to falter: to give way. to hesitate in purpose or action. waiver. hesitate.

3 comments:

verdadmiaAugust 13, 2010 at 1:27 PM
i love this post so much because i know exactly how you feel.
sometimes i think i'm too fickle and can't make a decision but really it's just that your feelings change and our feelings are all we have, they are our intuition, they must be followed. i disagree with the definition... faltering is not giving way to something (particularly, someone else's will) it is more like second guessing your own god-given intuition. don't do that.
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believe inlifeAugust 15, 2010 at 7:09 PM
yes faltering is another way of saying "im second guessing my initial intuition" ..exact reason why i am so disablingly indecisive. i second guess, third and fourth guess any decision i need to make, because my feelings change so frequently and im terrified of consequences that may arise from my initial feeling. sigh.
i envy those that arent afraid to act on impulse and stand by their initial feelings with a firm stance. ..id even call it a sort of bravery.
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speaktruthfreelyAugust 15, 2010 at 8:35 PM
i love you guys
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Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance	5
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,	10
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:	15
I am the captain of my soul.

So you want to be a Writer

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.
and there never was.